First of all, happy birthday to my mama.

Mommy and I circa 199longtimeago

We are such complete opposites that if it wasn’t for our resemblances, you’d never know we were even related. My mother is an old-school, conservative and religious Jamaican and I am a young,  quirky and liberal American — so you can imagine the gap. However, I think it’s that stark difference that makes our relationship so unique. For a month I’ve been racking my brain, trying to figure out what to get or what to do for my mother’s birthday. Each year I struggle with this as she isn’t the easiest person to please. Not that she’s ungrateful, because she really appreciates kind gestures, but it just takes a lot to 100% wow my mother. Instead of thinking about what I, or any other regular person, would like on a birthday, I considered my mother’s unlikeness to help me find her perfect gift.

The difference between my mother and I:

**NOTE: my mother’s quotes are in Jamaican accent

Dining Out

Me: I love dining out. Whether or not it’s for an occasion, I always find a reason to celebrate with dining out.  I love trying new restaurants, tasting different cuisines and most of all I love taking a break from cooking and cleaning dishes.  “You want to take me out for sushi for my birthday? Oh my! Thank you! I love sushi!”

Her: “This food too salt.” “I coulda mek dis at home.” “This nuh cook good.” “This nuh season. It need salt.”

Birthday Cake

Me: I love cake. I truly can survive on cake for the rest of my life. “Yay! Please cut me the biggest slice!”

Her: “Dis too sweet.” “Oh…why didn’t you get chocolate. It alright; vanilla is good.” “I coulda really go for vanilla cake; but dis chocolate alright.”  “Too much icing de pon dis” “Dem nuh ave nuh icing?” “You know what, mi ah guh mek black cake.”

Alcohol

Me: “Pour it up, pour it up!”

Her: “I do not drink alcohol.” “You know Kadia, alcohol is very dangerous.” “I like to be in control of my mind. Mi nah let no alcohol control mi.” “I am a Christian.”

Spa Day

Typical lifting viagra samples no prescription capacities of these hoists are from around 0.5 ton to 5 ton to fit each and every requirement of the ED patients. It is a common situation in older people, but nowadays it is also seen in adults between the ages of 18 and 24 who have never heard of 176-191 peptide, it is a first time when you are together and then you could be announcing that you’re ripe for a hack harvest with a huge magaphone! How so? Well, go to your blog… go on, open viagra online consultation a new tab. Action of mechanism: Before going through the functioning one must be aware with how erectile viagra on line dysfunction stops him from gaining erections. female viagra uk Taken once a day, it has received approval from the FDA. Me: “Yes! Relaxation”

Her: Gets nails done but gets clear paint. Gets nails done but smudges it immediately. Massage? “Umm…sounds good…” *NEVER GETS MASSAGE*

Jewelry/Clothing

Me: I love jewelry. If you get me any accessory or clothing, I will incorporate it into my wardrobe somehow. “Cute! Thanks, I love it.” *Wears item the next week*

Her: “Beautiful! Thank you!” *Item catches dust*

Cosmetic/Beauty Gifts

Me: “This smells amazing! Thank you.” *Wears/Tries item immediately*

Her: “Beautiful! Thank you!” *Item catches dust*

Party

Me: It’s been a while since I had a big party in my honor. It would be awesome if someone threw me one, although I’d probably have an inner anxiety attack.

Her: If it’s a planned party, she would freak out about not having anything to wear and she would have reservations about who is on the guest list. If it’s a surprise party, she would also have an anxiety attack (I guess we are similar here) but after calming down she would enjoy it. Either way the party is presented, my mom would still be the one serving and catering to guests without taking time to really be the birthday girl.

This morning my mother tells me for her birthday she wants to buy me a coat. She wants to buy ME a gift for HER birthday. From this list, I realize my mother is a giver and she does not know how to receive. I can be that way too sometimes, but she is extreme. I think for her birthday, I’ll give her what she is always asking for:  time. Maybe I’ll bake a black cake with her or we eat a home-cooked meal together. Not sure what I’ll do, but it will definitely be on her terms.